It’s Only Rock N‘ Roll :
SO What’s it About? Descriptively, It's a larger than life parody. BUCKLEY MORRIS had worked for The Yonkers Telephone Company, in the billing Department for the past 10 years; Yonkers a suburb of NYC. He and his best friend MARTY SHANTZ wanted to be Rock Stars. As kids they managed to save up enough to buy their Rockabilly brand guitars; second hand, the brand considered the best... They thought they would be considered cool kids and get all the foxy girls as guitar players. BUCKLEY was terrible, MARTY was a good player but the other kids considered him too fat and dumpy to even think about being a rock star. Both dropped out of City College after two years. MARTY went to Miami in the guitar business... BUCKLEY the billing department in the telephone company.
The Screenplay opens with BUCKLEY stretched out on an old Barcalounger chair. A towel is over half his head. He is moaning presumably in pain, The phone rings it is MARY his boss at Billing inquiring as to why he isn’t at work. He is whining he is sick. He says that he cannot think because of his headache but will probably leave his job because he won the Powerball lottery with an 870 million dollar payout. MARY reminds him he will lose his pension credits... Well maybe I won’t quit MARY, I’m all confused and in pain. He asks MARY to mail his $6.62 back, he will not be at Pizza Jamboree tonight and please tape the coins to cardboard so the post office won’t smell money and steal it. As The call ends, two guys practically break the door down. One goes over and rips the phone line from the wall the other grabs BUCKLEY. It’s AARON his cousin.... A CPA, AARON is trying to shake some sense into him. AARON has taken care of the ticket and his winnings... The other guy says nothing called an ATTORNEY part of a stealth organization called CODE #57 that operates in the shadows for billionaires. AARON is literally grabbing him along with the other guy out the door. BUCKLEY you are now a public mark, every scumbag lowlife will now be descending on you with a scam every bottom feeder reporter will try to make a fool of you looking for an angle. Women will be throwing themselves at you to have their baby so they can live on easy street with 18 years of $100,000 month pay-outs in child support.
He is in the back seat of a black stretch limo as AARON is explaining the Facts of his New Life... They pull up at 5th Ave Up a private elevator his new digs, a duplex penthouse. Larger than life met by some gorgeous women code #57 to satisfy his anticipated needs on the threshold of a new world.
We pick up this larger than life scenario, his prurient lifestyle two years later. He is sitting behind this large desk elegantly dressed in a power business suit. His estimated wealth $2.2 Billion dollars. He comes across an article in the Wall Street Journal where Rockabilly guitar is close to bankruptcy due to foreign competition, namely The Chinese, making cheap knock off’s of the Rockabilly line. He directs his Investment Banker to quietly purchase the company before that happens... HE HAS DIVINED A PLAN
He mentions a trip he took to Asia and had noticed their emerging consumer wealth. This he observed was particularly evident by the stylish dress of the young women, and the pop culture surrounding them with a strong American bias... an unstated acknowledgement of American quality ...a hunger, partly reflected in their sense of elegant fashion to be free and adventurous... but Asian style
The women surrounding BUCKLEY’s world are all brilliant, oversexed and gorgeous. FABIANA is CODE #57 operative his close assistant and one might say enabler. He engages NATALIE (a Private I) an American of Oriental decent, who speaks Chinese Mandarin to find in New York a young man around 16-17 of Oriental decent... She finds JOHNNY CHAN... BUCKLEY’s Character and personality are changing; thanks in part to his meditative meetings with Dr. KNOOO A larger than life character... Preliminary purification in BUCKLEY’s facilities BUCKLEY Francoise; Dr. KNOOO NATASHA...”You can imagine what that’s all about”... BUCKLEY had designer chairs fabricated telling DR. KNOOO He could not meditate in a yoga position too painful... "THE DR" introduces a plant in a pot...”GOD is everywhere... even in the smallest root.. We with all nature are one.... Etc Etc... DR. KNOOO inquires... “What is the one thing I can grant you”... I want to become DR. BUCKLEY MORRIS... I can arrange that... Just pay back tuition... You will receive your degrees in the mail by the end of the week. BUCKLEY grants DR. KNOOO his wish a romp with NATASHA at a fine Indian Restaurant then a play room... NATASHA comments later...”He’s no fun can’t even get it up. NATALIE has her issues... She dislikes American women, pampered poodles. NATALIE’S mother NO. Korean who she reveals was molested and/ or raped publicly with impunity almost every day. She escaped into China, then out of necessity, became a prostitute just to eat and survive. Her father Oriental American... a PhD in psychology taught black ops to American special forces, how to kill with one’s hands instantly... his cover blown she protected him till extricated. She became an American citizen and received a degree while raising her and sister. She loves her mother, adores her father. Versed in the martial arts, she entered Yale... after two years quit... (Intoxicated on wine) She refers to militant, aggressive women who enjoy protection under Ch.9 as powder puffs...”all their gains begotten at the largesse of men”..and feels adverse to the current climate against men. BUCKLEY is not a misogynist after a special occasion... a threesome with FABIANA and NATALIE... BUCKLEY seems to have a way with women... He’s very generous, never autocratic becoming a compassionate person... "BUCKLEY is a product in development"
The MEAT of the STORY:
JOHNNY found by NATALIE was a student at the highly competitive Bronx High school of Science. His Father wanted him to become a Rocket Scientist... not happy transferred to School of Performing Arts where he will graduate in the upcoming year. He’s very calm. Retiring sought of an oriental Harry Potter with a big friendly smile... BUCKLEY very impressed, he will be the new face of Rockabilly music... The plan is to send him to Harvard, while they are grooming him under the able tutorage of the best in Miami BOBBY BOX, RORY SCORE and MARTY who knows everyone and who is playing what instrument... JOHNSON MILLER voice... During the summer... JOHNNY a smart young man worked hard... technically proficient in any genre and groove... BOBBY’s analysis I got him as a garage band kid... He now could lead guitar almost anywhere... They got good equipment at Harvard, the music lab open 8 AM to 12 night.. Ill have him on a practice regimentation on a short leash... I assume he’s majoring in music... BUCK sheepishly says I wish that was so BOBBY... he chose Math and Rocket science. While the future of Rockabilly music would appears to be in good hands NATALIE has been out in California. Through Creative Artists Agency They found WENDY WU. She’s in San Francisco, her mother quite ill, WENDY very close, NATALIE there for support. WENDY 16-17 a knockout... a child actor she was KIKO on the program every child watched MONSTERS FROM MARS... Everyone loved KIKO... as everyone remembers... she was the only one... not afraid to face the monsters alone. WENDY Is fragile though, constantly worrying about her mother... So WENDY WU will be the face of Rockabilly fashion... their target market Asian youth culture JOHNNY speaks Mandarin; WENDY Chinese, Japanese and Korean. She will be joining JOHNNY as a freshman at Harvard. The Rockabilly family is very close... BUCKLEY told NATALIE she was doing such a fine job BUCKLEY said... you are too busy to go to an auto showroom... just tell me the color... When NATALIE and WENDY returned to NY a Mercedes CLC sports car waiting for her when they arrived on BUCKLEY’s private jet. WHY HARVARD ? BUCKLEY knows his target market would all love to go to Harvard in the US "a dream"
FABIANA NATALIE and FRANCOISE are attending the Paris Fashion week to hopefully find a designer who would fit their ambitions.. They do. FABRICKA WOLH (PRONOUNCED WOOL) extraordinary experience.. She’s ready to step up with the collection.. SHE does
She and WENDY go off to Seoul Fashion week the biggest in ASIA for fashion ideas as FABRICKA says... WENDY has amazing eyes to catch fashion trends.. After weeks and volumes of sketches coming back from Singapore to report to FABIANA, BUCKLEY in Miami both collapse at the foot of the elevator... taken to Sloan Women’s hospital by ambulance suffering from exhaustion
THINGS are COMING TOGETHER:
Nothing serious... I/V’s and a good night’s rest... FABRICKA is off to MIAMI with her sketch books to report to BUCKLEY... He is so impressed from what he saw... He tells FABIANA... To get down at once.... After this productive meeting they had, they were sitting pool side Beach Marina... As PETE PETERSON tells the story. I noticed this guy with these two radiant gorgeous gals... He had an aura, a glow. So I went over... I introduced myself... this guy stood up, we shook hands like he knew me 30 years... Sit down PETE you can settle this... He points to this enormous yacht “171” feet.. PETE, the girls are trying to get me to buy that yacht... What Do you think ?... Well she’s beautiful.... BUCK: what I really like PETE Designed and built in America. Some oil sheik had to blow town... almost brand new... I can pick it up for a song... I told BUCK to buy it... He looked at me, turned to FABIANA... call the broker, tell him to buy it, and send the papers to NY.
Hey What about the music?
BUCKLEY contacts MARTY, RORY, and BOBBY... “They are all Rockabilly Execs” the invites are sent out to the right people a Hugh Party "on and off the yacht" the best food and drink... It's a going away party for JOHNNY and WENDY who will be beginning their Freshman year... RORY SCORE The great Rockabilly super star now a senior exec with the company... Tall, thin, still handsome with chiseled features... still has the look... Although he was reported to have done over 1000 women is actuality married 31 years, his daughter ROCKLYN a pediatrician MD at Miami General, his younger boy Roland, Stamford Law and business. The stage and sound equipment perfect... RORY steps up, puts The guitar strap around his neck, a few riffs to retune, calls MAYBELLE Waters up to show the kids "old school"... They knock it out of the ball park with “I’D RATHER GO BLIND”. The applause Insane... When it calms down... RORY calls JOHNNY up... RORY begins the long solo intro “THE SKY is CRYING”...RORY working magic up there... turns it over to JOHNNY to finish the last solo... The audience consensus... "hey that kid can play".
They go off to Harvard... JOHNNY number one in his class ...WENDY doing fine in applied Arts... Should be doing better. NATALIE is assigned to look after them... She has an apartment in Cambridge... She generally takes them to an expensive restaurant... This time they insist on a local Pizzeria... JOHNNY for little or no reason maybe because number one in his Math classes is viewed by the other students a nerd or Geek... a passive attitude, a great smile, That doesn’t help matters... While walking across campus to meet NATALIE... Some student is strumming a few chords with a 10 watt street amp and a looper. Wendy stops to say hello to friends standing there listening. JOHNNY just standing there... WENDY says to her friends JOHNNY plays... pretty much dismissed... then louder... No he’s really good... With that the guy hands over the guitar.. Let’s hear you play. JOHNNY takes the guitar... plays a few sophisticated Spanish arpeggios, people are looking at what’s going on... Like What the Fuck? AMAZED... JOHNNY is retuning the instrument... then adjusts the amp, no hesitation in his actions.. He sets up an amazing rhythm line playing Flamenco based chords with his looper... When he’s got the grove... He starts the melody line, his fingers lightning. People are dropping to their knees... Listening To this fabulous sound... When he finishes... loud applause ...AMAZING comes out of peoples mouths.
JOHNNY smiles and humbly puts the guitar in front of the amp... Good taste not to embarrass the guy who was playing on an amateur level by handing him back his guitar directly... They proceed to the pizzeria where NATALIE is waiting... There is a bit of a commotion from those who just witnessed that incredible playing... They start kidding him ..”When you can play a guitar like that... you sure get the women” JOHNNY smiles ...My older sister... my younger sister... laughter... Some student friend said I didn’t think math rocket majors were even allowed guitars... SOMEONE YELLS OUT... JOHNNY ROCKET and that is how he got his name.
NATALIE, FABIANA AND BUCKLEY are in BUCKLEY’s office BUCKLEY directed FABIANA to do a code #57 with NBC ...A special show America has EXCEPTIONAL talent to showcase JOHNNY as the 5th and final candidate winner gets one million dollars. NATALIE notices a small pile of four books on a table... 3 Volumes The Complete Works of Ralph Waldo Emerson... The other The Origin of The Species Charles Darwin. NATALIE asks where they came from... FABIANA says we attended a code #57 conference... NATALIE says it must have been a bit boring and dry judging from the literature.. FABIANA said OH NO we all fucked our brains out... Then DR. KNOOO, BUCKLEY Interrupts... a minor god, a genius... "THE DR". said Observe all the men came within a short period of time... now standing around rather civilized talking sports, Wall Street and politics... The women little interest in the men turned on finding satisfaction in their own gender... FABIANA... The men went into a meditation session with Doctor KNOOO. BUCKLEY pipes in... We are to begin the discipline of engaging our intellect on a higher plane... thinking more with our cerebral faculties than the passions found crudely between ones legs a characteristic to the human male. FABIANA looks at NATALIE and just shrugs her shoulders.
There is a featured article in the Harvard Crimson about JOHNNY who will be a contestant on America got EXCEPTIONAL talent... Limited tickets available in the bookstore... which coincides with Harvard in the NIT basket ball tournament...
The HEAD JUDGE, SIDNEY asks the usual questions... JOHNNY is dressed in a Harvard T shirt, Yankee hat, being from N.Y. Jeans and sneakers... He’s a math and science major, fully relaxed, an obvious quality kid, SIDNEY senses something is wrong... says nothing... OK what are you going to do for us... “VOODOO Child... Jimi Hendrix and Stevie Ray Vaughan are my idols... SIDNEY bores in on JOHNNY then says the Stage is yours... He performs the muted intro to perfection... When its apparent he’s got exceptional talent and performing this effortlessly, SIDNEY stops him... the audience is upset... particularly the students... SIDNEY turns around calming the crowd one minute... JOHNNY standing there very passive. SIDNEY... You are very good, exceptional... no emotion you did that with little effort... there’s something wrong though, What is it?.... That’s not what you want to play... JOHNNY BEGINS TO CRY... My best friend WENDY, we are very close, her mother died today, that’s all the family she had; she worried continuously about her... We go to school together we work together... The other judges and audience are beginning to well up in emotion... This young man standing up there alone... The students a bit unruly yell out KIKO... SIDNEY turns around then back to JOHNNY... JOHNNY who’s KIKO... JOHNNY replies WENDY... She was KIKO on MONSTERS from MARS... the audience very upset and empathetic... SIDNEY with much experience takes control... JOHNNY do you want to go on... YES... drawing applause... His Harvard friends still unruly after the basketball game, yell out show 'em what you can do JOHNNY ROCKET... JOHNNY still in tears.. Begins the long guitar intro. To the song “THE SKY IS CRYING”...He’s great the JUDGES, the audience... everyone is crying... It’s a long song 9 minutes, by the end it seems to have had a cathartic effect on everyone... Standing applause by all the audience. More voicing JOHNNY ROCKET... SIDNEY turns around... Your friends are very excitable... JOHNNY (dryly) they just came from the basketball game. JOHNNY tries to smile “We lost by one point”...SIDNEY looks at him... THAT was the real JOHNNY ROCKET... again a standing ovation... SIDNEY “Who taught you to play like that”... BOBBY BOX and RORY SCORE... He looks at the other judges and nods... it figures... and sing like that... JOHNSON MILLER... So you are an intern with Rockabilly, a math and science major at Harvard, First in your class. Young man you do indeed have exceptional talent... You are on a golden path... You do not need our million dollars, I’m disqualifying you, the audience loudly objects... SIDNEY... We are out of time.., The winner will be announced at a later time Good Night...”BUCKLEY will give each of the other contestants one million dollars."
The news the next day has been explosive... “The audition heard around the world”... NO comment from Rockabilly. They are in mourning for their WENDY... All phones turned off. Their publicist issues a terse statement.
A scene showing BUCKLEY and FABIANA still dressed in BLACK, deplaning grimly into a black Limo. BUCKLEY sitting silently in his office feet up on desk, staring silently at the walls... He gets up goes to a closet, grabs a pillow, throws it on the sofa, and turns out the lights.
We assume perhaps next morning, BUCKLEY is checking his e mail. There Is one from NATALIE who has been at WENDY's side from the beginning... NATALIE: I did not think WENDY would make it through the ceremony; I thought we would have to hospitalize her... When I woke up... there was a new WENDY... Beautiful, vivacious, energetic... She showed me a letter her mother had left her... It was embarrassing, I couldn’t stop crying... It was the most beautiful letter I have ever read... The Effect... the late Mrs. WU raised her daughter from the dead... She is now the WENDY whom we love... She is no longer KIKO but WENDY WOW... When she wasn’t looking, “I am a licensed Private I” (LOL)...I snapped a picture... My opinion boss... after reading... forward it on to the two FABS... but not JOHNNY... He’ll experience the change soon enough back at school.
There was a great article in the campus paper “again part of the script”.. Ignore the celebrity so they can focus and get the full benefit of their education ...etc
Just a week before, the company’s promo DVD’s to their Asian distributors prompted strong order response’’’ FABRICKA now reports since the show orders for the collection are off the charts..
BUCKLEY is racing around from his Yacht, hoping into his Mercedes CLC sports car; after taking lessons, he drives like a pro, in his very expensive Miami designer suits, Rod Stuart spiked hair with blond highlights, trim and buff thanks to his personal trainer. He drives to his Architect to approve the renderings of his soon to be, three story stores in Miami, New York and Singapore for starters.
BUCKLEY is going over the details of not the concert; but, as RORY categorizes it “the event”... His daughter, THE MD came up with the theme... MUSIC and FASHION stylish women modeling and dancing their collection...backdrop of large screens
The venues are planned: Seoul, Tokyo, KL, Singapore, Bangkok ending in a 80,000 capacity stadium in Shanghai.
The music: JOHNNY and his backups (BOBBY promises the best)...open with ZZ Top’s SHARP (SHARK) DRESSED MAN... JOHNNY in black Tie... SRV hat... playfully raped to his shorts by WENDY... that say Rockabilly and his Harvard T shirt
Costume change into Jimi Hendrix’s “FOXY LADY”... Girls modeling and dancing... The Miami Vice lingerie collection
Robert Palmer’s “ SIMPLY IRRESTIBLE”..Girls dancing, heavily made up, emphasis on their “LET’S ROCK” cosmetic line.
Change of PACE... He calls out WHYLA WATERS...”Her Aunt sang with RORY at the Miami party.... “I’D RATHER GO BLIND”
He and the band get down and dirty with “THE SKY IS CRYING”...since the show, the song now identified with JOHNNY ROCKET
They bring it back up with their Steppenwolf “BORN TO BE WILD” theme with the girls modeling the collection
They Bring it home with the Rolling Stones “IT’S ONLY ROCK N’ ROLL... BUT I LIKE IT”...Playing it rather funky...”JOHNNY prancing imitating Mick J.
The Finale. BUCKLEY with his Investment Banker... BUCK you are probably worth about 10 Billion.
The summer tour is ending in Shanghai... 80,000 tickets sold out almost immediately. ASIA is in... JOHN ROCKET Mania... When asked by media maybe extend the tour? JOHNNY replies he has to go back to school. RETURN next year
BUCKY, “BUCKLEY, BUCK, DR. BUCKLEY MORRIS... has gone through an extraordinary metamorphosis ...since The Yonkers Telephone Company billing department... "Eight hundred and seventy million dollars helps” (LOL)...but he is a man to be reckoned with; but above all, through his experiences, some lurid, his personal trials by fire, and error, he has become a warm, generous sensitive compassionate man who does indeed respect women.”Well maybe a bit over sexed” as he sails his yacht into the Miami sunset.
Script written in Thailand. Registered with Screenwriters Guild West #1978334
It's not a Comedy...but a Parody... and in a fashion The Rolling Stones Get It